When the person you owe reparations to has died, you can still make living amends by changing things about you and how you live your life. These changes can positively impact the people you love and care about. Your AA sponsor, therapist, or another trusted person can help you determine how best to address making amends. According to Alcoholics Anonymous, living amends occur when you decide to “live out” the changes you have agreed to in your recovery journey. These are long-term actions or steps you take to show you are completely committed to recovery. There may be times when approaching another person directly or seeking to provide restitution could be painful or harmful for that person.
How to Start Step 9
Often, people with substance use disorders cause harm to others, either intentionally or inadvertently. Step 9 of AA’s 12-step program directs people in recovery to take accountability for actions that may have harmed others and to make amends when possible. In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), making amends is considered a crucial component of long-term recovery. I’m sure you’ve heard that the steps are written in a specific order for a reason. That reason is that each step provides the spiritual preparation we’ll need for the following steps.
Your Future Starts at Silvermist
That self-centeredness is replaced by an awareness of other people, and instead of being indifferent, we begin to care. Sometimes we cannot or should not contact the individual we have harmed. Or perhaps we have done irreparable damage and need to supplement our direct amends. In those cases, we may make amends through charitable donations, volunteering, and helping others. Very commonly the cause helped is related in some way to the damage done. In the throes of our addiction, we may have committed a litany of moral and ethically indefensible actions.
Positive Psychological Effects of Step 9 AA
- It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt.
- Making amends does not necessarily depend on your ability to connect with a person or how they respond to you.
- We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal advice.
- The key is that we keep the focus on ourselves and our “side of the street,” so to speak.
- Our approach addresses the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of addiction.
For your own good, spend time considering how you would handle it differently now. Then, think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes. Consider those things carefully as you move through the inventory of your loved ones.
Steppers
In most cases, the offender owes apologies to the people closest to them, like their friends, parents, and children. Living amends look different for everyone, depending on the specific negative behavior patterns you have identified while working the 12 Steps. living amends definition Determining the most impactful living amends will require a great deal of honesty.
Tips to Cope With Watching a Loved One Die
Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles. It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse. If making an amends means exposing ourselves to triggering environments, we ought to reconsider and discuss healthy alternatives with a sponsor or addiction counselor. Making any type of amends can be challenging, but in this article, we’ll focus on living amends and tips for how to make them. If you or a loved one is struggling to stay sober or needs help maintaining sobriety while working the 12 Steps, Eudaimonia Recovery Homes can help.
- Over time, as you strengthen and deepen your recovery from addiction, you will undoubtedly revisit Steps 8 and 9 many times.
- Instead, you may need to engage in a dialogue with them over time.
- When we do this this we gain a new perspective and the promises of the Ninth Step come true in our lives.
- To learn more about addiction recovery, including AA, reach out to Silver Mist Recovery.
- For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using.
- We have already begun making amends to ourselves by changing some of our behaviors, attitudes and beliefs.
A qualified behavioral therapist can help you identify the areas of your life that need attention. Other individuals who have completed Step 9, such as your sponsor, may be able to help you choose a meaningful way to make indirect amends. If you have devoted the necessary time and energy to the first 8 steps, you should have a solid foundation from which to approach making amends in Step 9. Your relationship with a higher power—no matter how you define it—can help you to remain https://ecosoberhouse.com/ open and willing, even as you acknowledge hard truths about pain you have caused to others. Celebrate Recovery Step 9 will introduce forgiveness in recovery. In past lessons, you learned how to make a list of amends.
Also, consider writing out a letter to express marijuana addiction your feelings. You don’t always have to send it, but an exercise like this can be very healing. Maybe you want to learn how to do Step 9 of AA, or you’ve heard of AA’s Step 9, but you do not know how to accomplish this step – whether in AA or CR. AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous and is similar to Celebrate Recovery. If you are new to this recovery series and are ready to jump in with the 12 steps, be sure to read Celebrate Recovery Step One! If you’re continuing this journey with us and would like to read the last article, please take a look at Celebrate Recovery Step 8.
A great foundation for an incredible life in sobriety
- Soon, you’ll run out of reasons to give your loved ones why you’ve failed them once again.
- 12steppers.org is not partnered or affiliated with any 12 step program or website that we link to.
- Others may prefer never to speak again or even wish you ill on the way out of the door.
- It is very important to recognize that the act of making amends is for you and not the other person.
But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive. Undoubtedly, you, too, have a list of ways in which you want to live out your living amends, and that’s great! The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you. Working Step 9 is challenging and you’ll likely need support and assistance as you work through it. At Eudaimonia Recovery Homes, we provide personalized recovery support with comfortable sober living Austin, Houston, and Colorado Springs. We also provide regular drug and alcohol testing, professional peer recovery support programming, a three phase recovery program, volunteer placement services, and employment and educational support.
